Five More Limericks

by H. Schwartz

1.

This is a poem about a girl

Who tried to be a saint,

And worried night and day for fear

Of what she thought her taint.

Oh would that she might learn at last

How just to make her humble

The suavity of God devised

That taint to let her stumble.

2.

There was a young lady who said:

"I wonder if I am misled.

I gave the dear Lord

All the merits I stored.

And He keeps shaking His head."

3.

This is a poem about a girl who thought

Her sin was a net in which she was caught

Who didn't quite understand the net:

That it wasn't her sin but the payment of debt

And how in this net all things are caught

Whose salvation the passion of Jesus bought.

For knowing this, there would be no complaint,

But peaceful knowing how God makes a saint.

4.

There once was a delicate lass

Who couldn't abide anything crass,

Said she:  "If I can't

Have Gregorian chant

I'll just stay away from Mass."

5.

There was a young lady named Alice,

Who said. "I must drink of my chalice.

O, how lovely is pain

In the form of champagne,

Let others consider their malice."

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And this....

I think his meekness is a sign

That all that's meek is not divine.